Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
