I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
