don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
you made out with another girl for some wings
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