That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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