Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
