i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize