so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
