she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
