Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
