i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
it's like iHOP with fire
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
