I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
