He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize