so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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