is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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