she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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