so explain again why im purple
no
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
