i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
