He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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