good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize