I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
where are you?
Hypothermia
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
