I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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