i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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