he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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