Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
