doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
