Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I miss vodka workout Fridays
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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