whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
