We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
