My hand turned me down
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
