stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
