Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Small penises have feelings too.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
