look no pants
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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