He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
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