i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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