We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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