I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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