happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize