I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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