I only kidnapped one of them. chill
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Another day, another engagement, another cat
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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