i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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