its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
