i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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