The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Best friends brother. Beat that.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
