she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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