He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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