why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
