I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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