seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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