this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
