is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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