I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
