I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
