Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
