He uses pillows to masturbate.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
