Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
