i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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