My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize