Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
