Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
