I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
where am i from again
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
