hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
