Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
and she was petting her beer can
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
