I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
is that a dick in a sweater?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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