He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize