we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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