i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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