the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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