Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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