Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
