using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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