explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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