i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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