Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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