Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
