bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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