he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Oh god it's open bar.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
