I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
