so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
