My liver just broke up with me...
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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