So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
my being single is dangerous.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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