I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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