LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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