I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
