do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
It's no shave November. This is our time.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
