One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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