What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Randomize
