I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
