I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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