maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
