sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
