dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
if only i could text you this smell
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize