So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
